The Florist Diaries
by Lynn Metallium
Summary: Some days you just have so many thoughts you need to write yourself a few notes, and thats just what the Weiss boys need to do. Attempted Humor. R
1. Yohji

The Florist Diaries

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm poor, please don't kill me or sue me. I'm armless, leg-less and goat-less so pretty please don't sue me!

Author Notes: Has anyone ever done this before? Probably…I'm sorry if it looks like I stole someone's idea, but I thought it would be really funny and I've never seen it done for Weiss ;;

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Yohji

Day One: Got up at an ungodly hour. 12 is not an actual time. Must get more beauty rest, I suffer…ah the pain…Broke sunglasses. Feel that my life is now over. Will never be able to watch Aya without them,…

Note to self: I am so the whoriest man whore that ever lived. Must get in Aya's pants.

Day Two: Did not go to work. Sever tongue lashing from Aya. Unfortunately it was not a tongue lashing in my mouth. Even used special minty fresh mouth wash. Feeling this is very unfortunate. Must go out tonight and hang on women to make him jealous.

Note to Self: Leather pants do not phase Aya at all, but will give the chibi a nose bleed.

Day Three: Had ten cups of coffee then went to work today. Watered a plant. Feeling that this was an accomplishment. Go me. Maybe Chibi will give me a cookie.

Note to Self: I am still the whoriest man whore ever. I am oh so pretty.

Day Four: Went out shopping. Wonder how Aya feels about black satin sheets. Want to invest in a water bed, hear the sex is good. Bought cute flowery bubble bath, hope the boys go out soon. Want to use.

Note to Self: GOT to get into Aya's pants. Having issues getting out of own pants when seeing him walk around.

Day Five: Need to get laid. Just need to get laid.

Note to self: Need to NOT smack Aya's ass. Cheek hurts. Very much. Fear bruising.

Day Six: Boys finally went out. Love flowery bubble bath, feel oh so pretty. Smelling like a girl is rather appealing. Wonder how Aya feels about cutesy flower bubble bath. Sounds girly. Aya is a girl name, its similar. Still need to get laid.

Day Seven: Went on mission. Aya noticed pretty flower bubble bath smell. Asked about girlfriend. Couldn't lie, said she was a redhead. Maybe he got it. Hope so. Still need to get laid.

Note to self: Blood stains are a bitch to get out of nice clothes. Must get machine washables for …. Flower shop…

Day Eight: Gave Aya sex ..er… breakfast in bed. Had tea spilt on favorite shirt. Feel this is not an improvement. Don't think he got the redhead thing. Still need to get laid.

Note to self: Ask Chibi to be quieter when he looks at porn. Not appealing to hear children moan. Ask if he will switch with Aya, Aya moans seem more appealing.

Day Nine: Went to work. Received another tongue lashing from Aya, but in mouth. Then pushed me down the stairs. Oh glory be. May make it into his pants yet.

Note to self: Aya likes silk sheets. Must invest. Hope that leg is not broken. Castes are so not pretty. Will cry if not the prettiest whoriest man whore ever.

Day Ten: Got laid. Cannot walk, but had great sex. Life is good.

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Continue?...Yes?...No?...Maybe?...Kinda?...Sorta?...o.o...


	2. Aya

The Florist Diaries

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm poor, please don't kill me or sue me. I'm armless, leg-less and goat-less so pretty please don't sue me!

Authors Note: Yaaay another one! Who do you want next?

**Aya**

**Day One**: Forced to wake the man whore up at noon. When he didn't show for work, was forced to break his sunglasses. Left the pieces on his bed, stupid man whore, hope he suffers.

Note to self: Must kill Takatori because I am god.

**Day Two**: Gave severe tongue-lashing to the man whore. Who does he think he is? Was forced to look like a statue when man whore was rubbing up on me in those leather pants. Bastard. Waited up all night for him to get back. Feel like a mommy hen. He came back drunk and smelling like a cheep floozy. Insensitive bastard.

Note to self: Never wait up for the stupid man whores. Ever. Bastard.

**Day Three**: Went to visit my sister today. Had the feeling that I went and talked to myself for an hour. Also have the feeling that man whore did no work around the shop today. Looking into castration, hear it makes improvements on attitudes.

Note to self: Let Ken do the cooking more often. Then let the Chibi do the cleaning. They are slaves. I am god.

**Day Four**: Noticed the man whore has trouble walking. Acts like he has a stick in his pants. Stupid bastard. Would serve him right. I think he wants to get in my pants. This is unacceptable. Barely enough room for me in my pants, much less him and me. Don't know what he is thinking.

Note to self: Hate girls. Cept sister. Hate customers. They suck. Like Takatori. Must kill Takatori. Because I am god.

**Day Five**: Anger. Severe anger. Going to kill man whore. Ass will never be the same. Has been violated! Ass is not for smacking …. Without permission. Stupid man whore. Should have just asked first.

Note to self: Wear these pants more often, man whore likes to stare.

**Day Six**: Went out to eat. Came back and the house smelt curiously like girly flowery bubble bath…. Have sneaky suspicion man whore had a female over while everyone was gone. Bastard.

Note to self: Kill female that stank up the house with her flowery being. Right after Takatori.

**Day Seven**: Went on a mission. Noticed man whore smelt curiously like a flowery female. Asked about girlfriend. He says she's a red head. BASTARD.

Note to self: So NOT jealous.

**Day Eight**: Could not sleep. Chibi was moaning, need to look into gags. Man whore brought breakfast in bed. Wonder how he got in room, swore the door was locked. Threw the tea at him. Bastard. Hate him for being the prettiest man whore ever.

Note to self: Am red head. Should be man whore's red head.

**Day Nine**: Man whore was such a man whore today. Could not stand it. Gave him severe tongue lashing … in mouth. Hate how he does this to me, so shoved him down the stairs. Served him right.

Note to self: Hope his leg his broken. Then can play maid and feed soup in bed. Yay.

**Day Ten**: Had great sex. Sad that leg is not broken. But feel that man whore has made up for it. Think today he cannot walk. Sister would be proud of me.

Note to self: Still need to find the red-headed girlfriend. Will kill. Will not share good sex with something that bleeds for a week and does not die. Bitch.


End file.
